Skip to main content

Late night letter

Dear Nathalie,

Mommy had one of her very late nights at work again.  You asked me, again, today when would I be able to stay home with you all the time.  I know you're only five and you don't understand the idea of needing an income, but every time you ask me that I feel so guilty for having to be a working mom. 

Yes, it's true, I love what I do.  I'm good at my career...that's why I've been doing it for so long.  But if it were economically possible, mommy would quit her job in a heart beat and stay home with you. 

I grew up with two working parents.  I was a daycare kid when I was your age, too.  The whole idea of "stay-at-home-moms" seemed so silly to me before I had you.  But those weeks...those few precious weeks of vacation I have every year, when I DO get to stay home with you.....they are the best weeks of my life.  Not just because I get to spend time with you....that's awesome...but I also get to prepare MEALS for the family...I'm able to keep house.....a concept that is so foreign to a lot of women these days.

I had it in my head that I would always be a career woman.  "I can be super-mom:  work, help at school functions, have an orderly house, make great meals......"   HA!  I feel like I'm barely holding on sometimes.  My schedule is so completely out of whack compared to the people that are most important in my life and I feel like I'm missing so much.

So, dear Nathalie, when you ask me if I can just stay home with you all the time....please know that my heart says YESSSSSSS!  But the bills say no.  I wish that, at minimum, I could have a normal work schedule so that life would seem somewhat more in balance.  At present I can't change that....maybe by the time you read this particular letter in my series to you, I will have figured something else out....But please know that all my hard work is so that I can provide a decent life for you and the rest of our little family.  And know that I love you SO much.

Love,
Mom

Comments

  1. Very nice, Jen. She's a lucky girl to have you as her Mom.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Kindergarten ROCKS!

Dear Nathalie, We You did it!!!  We You got through your first day of kindergarten!  I'm so proud of you.  Let's add some pictures: In front of the Kindergarten Area This was right before we went through the gate.....I promise, you were NOT the only kid that was having their picture taken.  All the mommies and daddies were taking pictures of their babies   big kids starting school for the first time.  With your nametag This is the spot where you line up before starting your day.  Kids have been lining up for school since the beginning of time, but you put your own little attitude into it didn't you.  Nathalie and Chapstick Just a reminder for you....at your daycare, Sunshine, the counselors there go by nicknames to keep the atmosphere fun, like summer camp.  This picture is of you and Chapstick.  She's the Head Kindergarten Counselor and she was your favorite during the summer program there.  But, you...

First Night of Homework

Dear Nathalie, When you're older, and you're reading through these for the first time, you're really going to hate me for this particular post.  But this is just too good to pass up: Tonight was your first official night of homework.  Your teacher will be sending home a packet of work to be completed throughout the week and you have to bring it back on Fridays.  In the homework notes, she mentions that homework should be a positive experience, that we should make it fun. Mission accomplished!  You got so excited finding items around the house that start with the letter "c" that you forgot to use the bathroom and you peed your pants!  I heard you screaming from the bathroom and I couldn't figure out what was wrong and you were just standing there when I walked in: Nathalie:  Look at what's happening to me! Mommy:  What?!?! Nathalie:  I just wasn't fast enough! Mommy:  I guess you got to excited about homework, huh? Nathalie:...

Grandpapa

Dear Nathalie, Your Grandpapa passed away today.  You asked to go to daycare today because it was water play day.  Your favorite.  I wish you were home with me though.  I'd go pick you up, but I can't stop crying long enough for it to be safe. You loved your Grandpapa....he loved you too.  When you were very little, he used to refer to you as "the little fella."  When you turned one, he had a shirt made for you that read:  I'm not a fella, I'm a girl!  We all got a kick out of it. He was so excited to pick out presents for you....dresses, toys to go with your play kitchen.  He used to ask your Grandma if she'd go with him to pick out outfits.  Before we all moved away (us and your auntie and cousins) Grandpapa would buy all you girls matching easter dresses.  He loved it. What was so great about your Grandpapa, my Pepere, was the stories he would tell.  He was such a happy man that loved to share so many fun memori...