Dear Nathalie,
I'm sorry it's been so long since I've written to you.....I guess when it comes time for you to read all of these, you most likely will just read through them one after another, so it won't seem like so much time has passed. That being said....
Halloween has come and gone. You were The Little Mermaid this year, red wig and all. Everyone loved your costume and you were sure to make sure that everyone that loved your "hair" new that it was just a wig. Silly girl. Now we're getting ready for Thankgsiving and Christmas and then, mommy's least favorite holiday, New Year's Day.
It is supposed to be a day of new beginnings. The first day of a new year.....how exciting. I just can't find a lot of joy and hope in that day...not yet anyway. It is still to me the day your grandma died. Nothing whatsoever to celebrate.
I like to think that this year I'm doing better. That a second year without grandma at the holidays will not be as hard as last year was....and maybe it will be. I think sometimes our anxiety of how we're going to feel in situations is worse than how we actually end up feeling when those times come.
I guess I'm trying to slip in a little life advice here. See, what I've learned is that we always psych ourselves up for some really awful outcome. Most people do anyway. That's why sometimes people lie....they think that's better than the possibility of what will happen if they tell the truth.
Sometimes we don't let ourselves try new things because we're afraid of the unknown. Afraid to go to the doctor because we fear what might be diagnosed. Afraid to fall in love because we've been hurt before.
Don't be afraid of life, dear Nathalie. Try new things. Meet new people. Travel to new places. And look forward to holidays that celebrate new beginnings.
Love,
Mom
