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Birthday #6

Dear Nathalie,

I've been a bad blogger. I completely lost all consistency for posting and I feel terrible. So much has happened and you've grown and changed significantly...I just feel awful.

Shaking it off. Starting over.

Happy Birthday! You turned six today. SIX!!! I cannot believe how quickly the time goes. I feel like it was literally yesterday that I met you for the very first time...held your little tiny body against my chest and felt and immediate attachment to you. My baby. At 9:22am on that Friday in February, you arrived. You're lucky you were born in the morning.

I was born at 2:56pm. Something your grandma used to take very seriously. She would REFUSE to wish me a happy birthday until the clock hit that exact time. No matter what. Every year. The problem with that is, now that she's gone, when it's my birthday......I stare at that clock and wait for that call, even though I know it's never going to come. Oh how I miss her. Especially on special days like today.

Your grandma was there with me every minute before you were born. She was there when you came into this world and she helped me in so many ways afterward. She absolutely adored you. She would have done anything for you. She ironed your little baby outfits from Gymboree so that you would look picture perfect for our outings to the mall or the grocery store or for nap time.

I read a line in a book recently...it went something like this: 

When someone you love dies, you not only mourn for the loss of the person...but for all the things that they will miss now that they are gone.

I feel that all the time. I wish your grandma could see what a big girl you are becoming. She would be so proud of you and all the hard work you've done in kindergarten so far.

Anyway, dear Nathalie, Happy Birthday. It is a new year and I will do my best to keep these letters frequent again.

Love,
Mom

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